"Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. You voted them in. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Then you're just what they're looking for. "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0 No, wait, hold on . They don't want to hear from you. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. "I have as much authority as the Pope. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. they don't wanna know about you. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet Say what you want about America land of the free, home of the brave we got some dumb**s motherf**kers floating around in this country, Carlin says over the images. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ", 72. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Amen and Awomen. They own you. Germany lost the Second World War. You ever notice that? It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. Join. Its you. ", 37. AddThis sets this geolocation cookie to help understand the location of users who share the information. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. This cookie is set by Akamai. George Carlin quotes are hilarious. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. I mean, life is tough. George Carlin : And I'll guarantee you one thing: you start executing, you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross on national TV, you're gonna see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. Thats the problem. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Hes all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just cant handle money! George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dreambecause you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. ", 27. ", 15. ", 20. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Everybody complains about politicians. No nothing. This cookie is used by Akamai to optimize site security by distinguishing between humans and bots. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' They should be giving their money to you. ", 52. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. That doesnt help them. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. JIM STAFFORD. Politicians don't care about you. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. ", 120. 'He's two' will do just fine. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. ", 19. 1. 28. r/antiwork. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. Take George Carlin, for example. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. They don't want to hear from you . The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. You have no choice. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. You have OWNERS! #AmericaWakeUp. Board Messages . Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. ", 86. ", 17. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? This cookie allows the website to identify a user and provide enhanced functionality and personalisation. ", 7. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. ", 115. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. It helps in improving the performance. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. Nobeody seems to care. They dont fall out of the sky. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Then youre just what theyre looking for. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Theyre not interested in that. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. They dont want that. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. They own, and control the corporation. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. ", 89. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. The truth is, we dont have people like that. "There's no present. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. The people are f**ked. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. ""I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. You think the schools are the way they are by accident? Thats right. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? This cookie expires after 30 minutes but the timer is reset if the visitor visits a new page on the site before the cookie expires. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . - Doc Holliday. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. So I don't trust none of them. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. This cookie is used for email services. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. ", 11. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. It doesn't matter what side you're on. "I have lots of ideas. Everybody says they suck. 44. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. ", 112. ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. ", 94. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. He always needs money! This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. ", 85. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Its because volunteers work for no pay. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. "Never argue with an idiot. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. This is the best we can do folks. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. The domain of this cookie is owned byOracle Eloqua. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. I think. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. ", 38. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. Its because volunteers work for no pay. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest.
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