It's very good. He avoided looking at Bokuto altogether. It was one of those "White days", as Bokuto liked to call them, so he paid much more attention to the world beyond the glass than he did to his own confined life in the hospital. Blinking, Akaashi turned his attention back to Kuroo and Bokuto. He re-read 'Sleep well, Akaashi!' Did Bokuto know about the lifespan of victims with his condition? When he was like this, Akaashi would think that he was resting, and he would almost believe that thought until Bokuto would twitch awake again, his body jerking him from what little relaxation he tried to achieve. "It's not fair. He stared at the wall and bounced one leg up and down as his emotions slowly started to reclaim him. Akaashi lifted his head and looked to his side. Akaashi picked this up quickly, and he pulled his phone out for Bokuto to use. In a daze, Akaashi's last words were, "Good night, Koutarou," before he slipped off into a deep sleep. Akaashi stared on as his mind searched for words. He chuckles. It's so good that I hate it so much because the sheer amount of pain it caused me. He just breathed now. They sat heavily in the pit of his stomach, churning and pestering him, urging him to throw up. He would have to close Bokuto's blinds and take his mind off of it somehow. "Please toss to me again!" "But why?" ", Akaashi looked down. Akaashi figured he should stay quiet too. It was his best and only way to hide his pain. He let it fall over his stomach, and there it rested. The stranger could have been a patient at the hospital for all Akaashi knew, and the last thing he needed was a sickly acquaintance to add to his already short list of friends. He would study them for quite a while until they melted and left behind nothing more than a droplet on his arm. Unknown to Bokuto, he watched him quietly through almost closed eyelids, his thick lashes being enough to hide the fact that he was still awake. For what felt like an eternity, Bokuto typed the words on Akaashi's phone. Bokuto followed briskly. It still smelled like him. Akaashi sat at the edge of Kuroo's bed, and he stared out the window without focus. They were still wrapped up in whatever conversation they were having. I'm not sick, but this place makes me feel like I am." ", "It passed." He instead allowed his actions to speak for him. In his silence, Bokuto wept to himself, fat tears rolling down his cheeks in numbers. But as each second passed, Akaashi could feel his own pain building up more and more within him. The hand that supported his weight against the windowsill trembled without pause, and his other remained outside, shaking in the cold dead of night. But on rare occasions, there were times when he'd have no choice but to watch Bokuto fall apart at the hands of his illness, and he hated it. "You don't have to put that." He waited for an answer, but did not receive one. More than 100,000 cattle were confirmed infected. "Thank you." The pain seared itself into his soul, hindering him, rendering him speechless to a point where he no longer knew what words were. "All of this is so- ugh. "I don't want you to visit me anymore. It took quite some time for a message from Kuroo to arrive, but when it did, Akaashi realized that he'd sent a video instead of what was initially asked for. The soft touch of Akaashi's hair against his chin comforted Bokuto, and pulled him into a relaxed state. It would cause less spasms to grip Bokuto's body, allowing him to unwind more than he usually could. Shifting in his seat, Bokuto pulled himself closer to Akaashi, one hand grasping the blanket that had been given to him. "You've had two panic attacks this week already, and your hallucinations are getting worse. Akaashi stared intensely at the screen, then tore his gaze away and looked back to Bokuto. He didn't know how to deal with him now, so he remained silent. "How are you feeling, Koutarou?". He thought back to the bags around Bokuto's eyes. Feeling that it would be rude to interrupt Bokuto's conversation with whoever the other person was, Akaashi strode over to the seats and sat one chair away from the gaming stranger. If there was one thing that Akaashi had learned about Bokuto in the little time that he'd known him, it was that he wasn't too fond of staying locked up indoors. The smile on Bokuto's lips grew just a little more, signifying that he'd answered yes to Akaashi's question. Without a voice, Bokuto couldn't keep up a conversation as well as he used to, no matter how hard he tried. He pressed send and watched the phone carefully, waiting for the small ellipses to appear on the lower left side of the screen. He entered his home with Bokuto in a matter of minutes, having walked faster than usual. Haikyuu!! As Akaashi lay there, quiet, listening to Bokuto's strained breathing, he opened his mouth to speak. Akaashi grew silent and knitted his fingers together on his stomach, his head relaxing into his pillow. Then I'll have to walk you to the hospital before the doctors find out you're missing and lose their minds. When you're around him, you help him forget.". ", "I Don't know." Bokuto's skin crawled, goose bumps pimpling his porcelain surface. The condition can cause memory loss, delusions or depression. "I'll get you back to the hospital by seven in the morning.". Tried so hard to keep himself together, but he knew he was too weak to pull such a bluff. This time, Bokuto directed his attention to Akaashi. Akaashi remained in place with the thought in mind that Bokuto would respect his personal space and sit a foot or two away from him, but to his apparent surprise, Bokuto leaned his head on Akaashi's shoulder and slipped an arm around him. The sounds of their sneakers squeaking against the gym floor was so memory inducing, it caused Akaashi to take a moment and reminisce on the old days, as if doing so would take him back in time to when he'd play volleyball every single day after school. Akaashi watched closely as Bokuto mouthed and typed the name. "Do you want to watch a movie?". Out in the dead of night stood Bokuto, with the burgundy knit scarf around his neck, a jacket, jeans, and slippers. Akaashi managed to say, staring out into the distance. "Likewise.". In no time, Bokuto was standing in front of Akaashi, eager in every way to make it to the gymnasium. Short description of the movie (from Google): Six individuals belonging to different generations go on an emotional ride while exploring how human actions impact the lives of their loved ones in this ever-changing world. I've seen enough." It was his attempt at brightening the mood, or "being funny," as some called it, but alas, his words had fallen flat on the ground as he received another silent reply from Bokuto. He sighed his response with a grin. Bokuto spoke, his voice peaceful. Bokuto's eyes said everything to him. He spoke gently in Bokuto's direction. He couldn't face him. DID is usually caused by past trauma. "It m-makes me Feel like I'll h-have another life One beyond this one One that's better Wh.. Where I can actually wake up to you and be with y you" A smile played on his pale, thin lips. He looked up, gazed at Akaashi past his bleached blonde bangs, and straightened his back in the slightest way possible. He furrowed his brow and exhaled heavily, his eyes looking down. "Wait, what? ], [I don't know any other way to put it. He looked around and frowned, and figured it would be best to take his leave. Akaashi squirmed in discomfort. He'd brought along a volleyball of his own, just in case they weren't provided with any. Akaashi watched as the screen went to black, and it was then that he placed the phone back on his nightstand, choosing to ignore the message. Sho, known as Shawn in the US dub, is the male lead of The Secret World of Arrietty. He looked in Akaashi's direction. He was now more curious than he'd ever been before. He touched his forehead to Bokuto's shoulder, which only earned a laugh from him. "I'm sorry. Sleeping. Akaashi closed his eyes and sighed, swaying absentmindedly in his step, opening his eyes just in time to swiftly avoid colliding with someone. For every time Akaashi would witness this, his mind would repeat one phrase, whether he wanted to hear it or not. speckle park bull sales 2021 847-461-9794; what disease did, bokuto have in another life. Bokuto's disembodied laughter rang throughout the garden, as if to prove Kenma right. "Yeah." His laughter died down along with Akaashi's. The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write. i literally have never watched a single episode of this anime nor do i have any emotional connection to these characters but wow this is a really pretty and well-written fanfic. He wanted for him to spike it at least once lest Bokuto threw a self hate-induced panic attack. He walked ahead quickly, straight into the room. "Kuroo?" "Setting an alarm for six AM." Akaashi turned away and frowned. But as he spoke about his favorite scene, Akaashi could sense a powerful vibe coming from him One that wasn't there before. He's going to be fine. He sat at home in bed, with a snug fitting shirt on and his hair an absolute mess. The both of them didn't exchange any words after that, ending the conversation just as suddenly as it had started. If you watched Haikyuu, and anime, I would definitely recommend this ebook. His voice a mere murmur, Akaashi moved closer to Bokuto, then resumed to lie down on his back, his head slightly elevated with the pillows that sat behind him. ", "And then they'd turn my room upside down in an attempt to find me. When it falls, I want to go out and stand in it.". "What was the dream about?". please dont make this flop i has to rearead EVERYTHING just so that i could be in the "feels" making this video. Bokuto looked down at Akaashi's hand. He was trying everything he could to psych himself into doing at least something to let Bokuto know that he was there for him. ", "Not to my knowledge. "I guess I could find some time to talk every so often." He figured he would tell his parents that the people in the hospital were too occupied with everything else to tend to him. Shut him out, don't let him in. ok look. In another life.". Before then, he would normally lose several pounds a week, but ever since the night he'd snuck out, his weight loss could only be described as alarming. "But I thought you had that nightmare." Pursing his lips into a thin line, Akaashi looked down and noticed that Kenma had laced his fingers together. Though Bokuto's speaking skills weren't as good as they used to be, he was still the more talkative one out of the two. So he stayed in place, holding onto Bokuto, taking in his company for one last time before he'd never see him again. You'll still be the best. His mind wouldn't allow him to. Kenma rubbed his nose with his sleeve. Akaashi stared at the text message and let out a shaking sigh. Another shudder threatened to rattle him, but he kept himself still, as difficult as that was. So whenever he went silent, an unwelcomed feeling of discomfort found its home within Akaashi. Dissociative disorders are mental disorders that involve experiencing a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity. But no matter how much he worried for him, Akaashi continued on their way to the window at a slow and steady pace until they finally made it. No one was around." Ahhhh I know you didn't tell me to send a video, but, I'm not someone who follows rules." At some point during their walk home from the gym, Akaashi had agreed for Bokuto to spend the night at his house. Apathy-kun. I couldn't put Bokuto through all of that. The various identities control a person's behavior at different times. ", The male who stood across from Akaashi shifted his weight to one leg. "I have to go, Bokuto." He only bundled himself up in the sheets that surrounded him. "So we were going to step outside for a minute or two in order to get this owl to shut up.". Because I wasn't, then. He wanted to rid himself of this feeling, rid himself of this silence, so he searched his mind in haste for any word that came to mind. There was that, and the fact that Akaashi couldn't help but find Bokuto's smile endearing, no matter how sickly he looked when he wore one. They don't know how to H-heal me, so" From beneath the blanket, Akaashi could see Bokuto's shoulders rise and fall. Just sleep, it'll pass away [Chorus] In another life I'll be well for you So we can stay up and watch our favorite movie until two In another life I'll chase after you Just like hide and. My last memory of Bokuto will not be of him sharply dressed, pale, stiff, and stuffed in a casket, surrounded by a countless amount of people who did not care for him at all until the day they heard about his death. They remained speechless in each other's company for several minutes before Bokuto actually spoke up, his voice sounding like nothing more than a mere whisper. Are you alright?". Bokuto stared off in the distance from beyond the net, his face carrying a confused expression. "About three hours." "Koutarou Why do you watch me like that?" ", "Because it's three in the morning and I want to fit some sleep into my schedule. They asked him questions. With barely an ounce of strength left, Bokuto pulled himself up a tad to get a better look outside. Forcing a smile of his own, Akaashi tilted his head only slightly. Feeling an amount of guilt build up within his chest, Akaashi pulled out his phone just as quickly as he'd hid it away. "Get back into bed. ", Akaashi scratched his head. He remained in place silently. "I'm often busy. Think that I'm beautiful?" He said the name with a lack of interest to try and soften the blow, but Akaashi knew that no matter how he approached it, Bokuto would frown when he heard the name. He swallowed thickly and looked out the window. Akaashi looked at his phone to read the sentence. This was their unspoken communication. Wincing, Akaashi turned his head away. His face glowed the quietest shade of red, and he tried to hide it from Akaashi. You're probably just not an emotional person, and that's ok. Kuroo's voice was reserved and reluctant. I think the ending is up to interpret, but this is what I thought of. I may not be as sharp as I used to, but that whole 'Time flies when you're having fun,' rule still applies to me, even today.". left kudos on this work. Don't worry about it.". "Get over here." He watched Bokuto intently, curious to know what his answer would be. He thought the video had gone by too quickly, but it had actually lasted a little under thirty seconds. "They aren't really there." To the garden out in the back.". He strode to him quickly, cupping the already melting snow in his hands. "Anything but," Bokuto retorted, sitting upright in bed. Akaashi forced a smile. Akaashi's tone was monotonous, but Kuroo didn't fail to detect the venom that lined each word prior to his last sentence. Bokuto swallowed thickly and toyed with the Pocky in his hand. This earned a gasp from him. They made him feel nauseous to a point where he had to sit up in bed and swallow deep, slow breaths in order to cool himself down, and he did just that, reaching his hands up to rub at his eyes before taking a tense look around his room. "I don't Want you to Watch me decay. He then reached out and took hold of Bokuto's arm to help him back to the bed. "Could you please toss to me some more?". An 'It's alright,' could be heard from behind him, but it soon faded as Akaashi continued forward. He gave a mock swing of his arm, as if spiking. People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy and cause problems with functioning in everyday life. January 19th, 6:40pm. Bokuto's eyes widened. His hand trembled harder with each passing second, as if the movement would cause Bokuto to wake up. In another life. "What's this?" ], [Are you calming down? He found it much too difficult to say no to Bokuto, but it had to be done. It was strange how the less Bokuto asked, the more Akaashi found himself saying. I've heard a lot about you in the short hour that I've been here.". His hands showed what his face dared not. I would have Kenma say bye, too, but-" He turned his head to look around, "He left the room? He instead continued to stare in Akaashi's direction with hopeful eyes. Bokuto's eyes did the familiar light up thing as he bounded into Akaashi's home. Why had the sickly one taken a sudden liking to him? He did the only thing that he could and nodded again, then closed his eyes, and slightly turned his head away. "You don't need to know." The male across from him did well in hiding the look of offense that almost surfaced upon his face. The sound of Bokuto's laughter caused Akaashi to turn his head back to him. Akaashi made sure to take a mental picture of this before he looked down and closed his eyes. I, personally, don't cry at a lot of stuff (I just feel sad), and it's different from person to person. Bokuto kept his finger up, then moved his hand to point it at himself. Not great, but alright. He motioned for Bokuto to come closer. Bokuto would've taken an hour. Akaashi woke with a start that same night, his strangled shouts having pulled him from his sleep. As Akaashi said this, he held out an arm, as if readying himself for some sort of hug. He ascended the steps to his room, balled his no Bokuto's blanket up into a lump, and dropped it onto his bed along with the scarf. My last memory of Koutaro is already with me, and it will die along with me.". He looked back down at the game screen. "I did" He paused for a moment. what disease did, bokuto have in another life. I was sobbing so hard at the end I legit thought I was going to pass out. ", "Comforting?" ", Akaashi clenched his jaw behind a mildly irritated face. I honestly dont know what to say Other then Im emotionally destroyed. He seemed to be unfazed by many things, and blatant about others, blurting sentences out that didn't seem to have much thought behind them. He looked down, his hair hanging over his face. (Not my story all credits goes to LittleLuxray on ao3) Juli 2022 . "I would stay if it were up to me. Ten degrees outside.". [Uh, sure. "May I ask your name?" Akaashi couldn't find any words to say at that moment. And at such an early damn age, too?" "Just breathe with me.". Now on to another one I have noticed. Akaashi swallowed thickly and crossed his hands, rubbing one thumb over the other. Akaashi shifted, leaning in the direction of where he'd come from. Akaashi shared a bench with Kenma. What normally would have pained someone to say, he delivered with ease, and with that same grin to boot. In another life. Alarmed, he snapped around quickly. But Kuroo insisted." "Five weeks ago, he was in shambles. Surely enough, he noticed Kenma sitting in the seat next to Bokuto's bed. Akaashi raised his eyebrows. Bokuto missed Akaashi's set twelve times. "One, maybe two months at most, if I'm lucky. Akaashi took a glance out the window, only to instantly throw on his clothes and toss his bag over his shoulders. His undivided attention was on Bokuto. He paused for a moment, then spoke up again. Kuroo looked at Akaashi sideways. It was then that he started to inaccurately press at words that he was trying to make out. Pointing a finger down the hall, a small assistant nurse directed Akaashi to a different desk, one where he would be able to find more information on the subject. "Shit- shit." He dreamt of how Bokuto had buried himself into the navy blue blanket to watch the movie that played on the laptop screen, and how he held Bokuto in his arms that night to aid him in his attempt to sleep. His head slumped against his shoulder, and both his hands rested on his stomach. He threw the ball to Akaashi. "Please hold onto it, Bokuto.". He grinned from ear to ear. He started down the hall, sighing heavily, intent on rushing home. Above, the clouds were dense, and they gathered quickly, casting a dark shroud over Akaashi's path. He pressed his lips into a thin line and fell backwards on his bed. Not me llorando a la 1am por culpa de esto. Bokuto leaned in and touched his forehead to Akaashi's. What sat upon the screen was not what he thought it would be, but rather A simple compliment. His eyes lighting up, Bokuto straightened his back and fished his hand into his pocket. He looked up, and his gaze found Bokuto's. (does that make sense?). But Akaashi now couldn't find it in himself to sleep. "Setter. Akaashi frowned. He didn't want to. I hope you enjoyed thisI researched FFI a lot actually, in order to get a better understanding of it. Kuroo would have been concerned if not for finding out what had happened earlier that day. Heavy raindrops pelted against the window as Bokuto's frantic sounds filled the room. It hurt him to think that Bokuto had barely even experienced the joys of a young adult's life before that crippling disease had taken a hold of him. That night, he dreamt of the first night Bokuto had come over his home. Hesitating, he turned, pivoting on one foot to stare back at the small one who sat by his lonesome. Bokuto followed, his arm still around him. I hope all is well. Realizing this, Akaashi decided to take action instead and reach out to comfort him, but not even this he could do. The light that came from outside reflected off of Bokuto's teardrops, lighting his face up in the most gentle of ways. Looking up from the laptop screen, Bokuto directed his attention to Akaashi. "I was drowning." This was not what he wanted. He'd only spoken to Kuroo once before, and they barely exchanged any words. Kuroo's the heavier one. Akaashi sat up and placed his phone on the counter. "What used to be your position back when you would play?" So he didn't care anymore. "If you would please listen." "Do you want your scarf back?" He'd realized just how rude that was, falling asleep so easily in front of a person who's biggest struggle was just that. To this, Bokuto's arm fell and rested lightly on his stomach. Kuroo was quiet on the other end. Sunlight broke into the room, cascading all along the walls and floor, and casting shadows all around. "What? He turned the chair so that he was now facing Bokuto from the front. He was redirecting the pain. Akaashi listened to the quickened rate of Bokuto's still beating heart, and knew that this was his response to his words. It took him some time to get down what he wanted to say, but after several minutes, he withdrew his hand. Akaashi is a former intern in this hospital, and he loaths it. [I'm excited for you to come over tomorrow! Looking down swiftly, Akaashi's sights locked onto his hands. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too. He stared in Bokuto's direction, at him this time. He kept himself against Bokuto and held onto him with what little strength he had left in him. "Please, it will only take a second. His fingers remained stiff for quite some time as his eyes read the introductory paragraph over and over again. Guessing quickly, Akaashi muttered, "One?". He managed a feeble shrug and turned to continue on with the movie that he'd watched for the thirtieth time already. It read: "If I knew those words I spoke a week ago would have been my last, I would have chosen them more carefully.". But three hours can also feel like seven minutes. Obeying with hesitance, Bokuto shifted towards Akaashi and lay against him, fitting into the curve of his arm. "Things happen.". He carried a look on his face that made him seem more sinister than sincere, and his eyes flitted from Kenma to Akaashi, and then back to Kenma. Not even a sentence could get past his suffering. Just then, as Akaashi bit down on the inside of his lower lip, he turned his head in time to catch a glimpse of Kenma lowering his head towards Bokuto. "I know You hate hosp-itals. Kuroo didn't seem surprised in the slightest. This did not faze him, however, as Bokuto only closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, allowing the burn of the winter air to fill his lungs. "Of course. "Give me a break here." Akaashi lifted himself onto his elbows. Their walking then slowed to a halt, and it was then that Akaashi had become aware of the new individual who'd invaded his personal space. His back was facing the door, and Bokuto seemed to have all of his attention on him. Kuroo made a grunting noise and had nothing more to say on the subject. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed. "Watch it." When this would happen, he'd pull a frustrated expression for only a moment before his face grew too tired to hold it any longer. His head was cocked back as he surveyed the gym. "I'll show you." Akaashi was unhappy with where he was, unhappy with what it was that he was doing. "I know." [Nightmare? He found he had nothing more to say. He focused on nothing Something he remembered Kenma doing. With much effort, he sat up to look at Bokuto. He understood where Akaashi was coming from and didn't even think of holding his icy tone against him. Exhaling through his nostrils, Akaashi reclaimed his seat in bed, crossing his legs. ], [I would hope so. Not in front of Bokuto. Bokuto grabbed Akaashi's hands with his own. I knew how the book would end but i still cried. He started on his way without so much as a second glance in the other's direction. Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Kuroo's the bigger one. The air was bitter and cold, and it hit Bokuto like a slap to the face as another gust of wind forced its way into the hospital room. masked singer uk season 1 reveals . "Akaashi? "No, no, no, no-" He pulled away from the windowsill and ran out of his room, straight downstairs and to the front door. The tiny snowflakes deteriorated in the warmth of his palm, leaving a small puddle behind. It had been so long since he'd heard something so loud. Whenever we did, Kuroo and Bokuto would meet up afterwards and spend time together. Unless Bokuto was purposely playing the fool. It was no doubt that he was larger than Akaashi, but that didn't stop him from fitting in just right. "The three hours!" Bokuto had always been struggling to keep a positive front, but inside, he was falling apart all along. ], [I see. I've got time.]. 2) After Akaashi fell asleep, he somehow transported to an alternate universe where Bokuto is alive. Tokyo needs a little more snow now and then. It was all still there, but there was something different about it all that puzzled Akaashi.
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