'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. The receptionist replies September 7, 2022, 12:41 am All the while, a newspaper reporter who was taking a stroll through the park is watching. Tottenham have their own customized version of the phrase to bottle. To Spurs a game or have something Spursed is equivalent to bottling something. Q: What's the difference between Arsenal supporters and mosquitoes? What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Spurs strikers?Clinton can score. Q: How do you keep a Spurs fan from masterbating? The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. ", The dealer replies, "It's voice activated. At a local derby between Arsenal and Spurs last season, a spectator suddenly found himself in the thick of dozens of flying bottles. The first is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. Do that, and Arsenal fans won't even have to rely on Tottenham's annual failings to put a smile on their faces. What do you call a Tottenham Hotspur supporter who scores high on IQ tests?A cheat. Theres nothing to worry about, lad, said the elderly chap standing next to himIts like the bombs during the war. "That's no reason," she says loudly. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. What is the difference between Tottenham and a book?A book has a title. Arteta recently went mad at some referee decisions during the draw with Newcastle United and Keys used the Ramsdale incident as an excuse to bring up his favourite narrative, claiming the Spaniard's 'inflammatory behaviour' was to blame. Arsenal has been in the Champions League for 18 years straight and hasnt won it, what are they gonna miss?The anthem. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" FC Arsenal Funny Jokes Maybe I'm NOT the world's smallest man". ", boasts the little girl. "So you're an Arsenal fan, that's interesting. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and hit that Arsenal bastard again, harder. A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. Q: Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly? "Why do I need help?" Arsenal have won 13 titles to Tottenham's two - the last of which was lifted in 1961. ", This fan then posted: "Whoever did this deserves a raise. The car radio automatically switches to an Arse match on Capital "Gooner" Gold. "Hate Jokes ArsenalWhat do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit ? Jessica Amlee "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. A: Because the cup's always in Manchester! ""The cups man! Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Tottenham Hotspur.' Many of the arsenal cavaliers puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. the second one wore supported Manchester United and wore red knickers, View our online Press Pack. Perhaps there is someone more beautiful than me!" Like the massive whopper that he is, Richard Keys somehow managed to blame the incident on Mikel Arteta's actions on the touchline. It will be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house. 4. Ive let you down Ive let you down.Dont be stupid Diego, you got a draw against Spurs all by yourself. The last title won on a Spurs ground? Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. Shoot the Arsenal Fan. "Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir.". not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. Please refresh the page and try again. What did the Arsenal fan say when they won the FA Cup?Im gunner celebrate all night long!. Suddenly, the driver saw a Gunners supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. A: A good start! What does an Arsenal fan do when he sees a blue bird flying?Shoots it and then gives it to a Spurs Fan. Share it! Quasimodo then said, 'How do I know I'm the world's ugliest person? The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. So far, he has been punched, spat at, kicked, and verbally abused. A Liverpool fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Gunners supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Arsenal jersey. Each supports a different team, one for Hartlepool, one for Liverpool, and one for Arsenal. You all know its familiar contours: fail to challenge for the title, cling on for a Champions League place, finish second in the group stage in the following season and then get knocked out at the last-16. "No way Richard," says his mate "of course we'll still be pals!! Your Tottenham Jokes For Arsenal Fans pics are available in this web. Theyre still talking about the lightbulb that they originally tried to buy but didnt. "Yes" replies Emmanuel "you should have my details on your computer". So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. The former Arsenal striker appeared to mock Tottenham during a punditry appearance on French television. It said it was to weak. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Maybe Tottenham's inferiority complex is so pronounced that even as Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino tried to warn that no good would come of the obsession with finishing above Arsenal, it's because a self-destructive, self-fulfilling prophecy that resulted in Spurs taking only two points from their past four games of the season. After though, Mikel Arteta dragged them all away and got them instead to celebrate with the away fans, hilariously having to take extra care to remove Granit Xhaka from the situation. It's another one of football's immutable laws; a binding force holding Arsenal in place: Never too good. A. There were three football fans one each from the clubs Arsenal, Manchester City and Liverpool they were walking in the desert and found a dead camel. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Mikel Arteta's men moved eight points clear at the top of the Premier League. Your email address will not be published. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands. A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. 58 Votes She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Tottenham Hotspur supporters, too. There's nothing worth craping on! The Englishman made the move to Arsenal after his contract at fierce rivals Tottenham had Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Tottenham Hotspur Fan. Be realistic.Arsenal fan: Okay. That was the case on Sunday as well, as one Spurs fan kicked Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale at the end of the match, as the England player collected his things. "Thats what happened and its a shame as its just a game of football at the end of the day. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Whats up? He asks. A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while! "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. "I gave them some back and the few people I did do it to was probably well-greeted, sportsmanship-like. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. How many Arsenal fans does it take to change a lightbulb?None. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. ', Megan Fox was thinking: 'That Arsenal fan must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Spurs fan and got slapped for it.'. After 25 . Arsenal are to allow their goal keepers, to train without a mask, Three aged soccer fans enter a church. A: They're both empty from the neck up. Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers.". TwiceFC Arsenal Funny JokesFire brigade phones Arsene Wenger in the early hours of Sunday morning "Mr Wenger sir, Highbury is on fire! And she got very depressed. Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Why was the wife shocked on the wedding night?She thought she was marrying an Arsenal fan not an arsehole fan. What is the difference between Arsenals players going to Chelsea and Chelseas players going to Arsenal?One goes to retire while the other goes to win trophies. Why do ducks fly over Emirates Stadium upside down? What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet?Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Enjoy the team's latest comic relief and have a laugh at their expense, from FIFA to Scunthorpe! Ive only had him for like 20 months.. A: A good start! 'Story Jokes About ArsenalA Spurs fan, a Watford fan and a Gunners fan came across a nude, dead woman in the street. Why are Tottenham Hotspur fans so bad at geometry?Because they never have any points. We know its important but its only Spurs. There was plenty for Arsenal fans to cheer about on Sunday, as they increased their lead at the top of the Premier League table to eight points, with a win over local rivals Tottenham Hotspur at Spurs' own ground. Q: Why did God make Tottenham Hotspur supporters smelly? Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Ill sacrifice my life for yours.But the girl replied, No need for that, there are 2 parachutes left.How is that possible? asked Pope.The girl replied, That Arsenal FC Manager took my school bag.. "Arsenal Story JokesTwo Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland. Im looking for a rubbish tip.The other man said, Arsenal to win the Premier League., A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.Take a look at this, dear. The Manchester fan said I'll have the chest Here are the best Tottenham Jokes for you to share with your friends. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. The Gunners fan was thinking: 'That Spurs fan must have kissed Megan Fox who went to slap him, missed him and slapped me instead. ", The reporter starts again: "QPR fan saves friend from horrific attack. Meanwhile Arsenal have scooped eight trophies in that time having won the FA Cup and Community Shield four times each. He takes one and jumps.The fourth passenger was the Pope. Q: Why are Arsenal jokes getting dumb and dumber? It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. 40 FC Barcelona Jokes You Cannot Share With A Cule, 80 Football World Cup 2022 Jokes To Cheer Soccer Fans, 35 Tottenham Jokes You Cannot Share With Spurs Fans. He wants us to win the European Trophy, the dogs owner replies.The pub owner then asked what the dog says when Tottenham wins an away European match, to which the man replied, I dont know. "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker.", Taking to Twitter, a fan remarked: "Only Arsenal will duck a fixture against us then have the arrogance to drop a s*** trophy joke on the club website which isnt even true. A Liverpool fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Hotspur supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Tottenham jersey. Pope said to the 5th passenger, an 8-year-old girl, Im an old man. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. The teacher is now angry. But in amid the delight and schadenfreude enveloping the red half of north London, there is a. ", Another messaged: "This is such a good marketing technique to get more clicks on their website. ", This satisfies the woman, who immediately gets back into the car and drives for home. They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what? Their plane crashes in the middle of the ocean, and each of them ends up on a desert island with only one sheep. . This Arsenal team is demonstrating dominance and superiority over their opponents. Arsenal Jokes - IntroductionHello and welcome to the funniest jokes about Arsenal that I could find.Without any further introduction, here are some of the best jokes for FC Arsenal.Dislike Joke About ArsenalWhy do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?It saves time.Jokes About FC ArsenalWhy do Arsenal fans whistle on the toilet?So they know which end to wipe.Jokes About ArsenalWhat do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi?A burglar.Hate Jokes ArsenalYou're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and an Arsenal Fan. Away from the Premier League action, Cristiano Ronaldo was filmed angrily reacting to a young fan's Lionel Messi joke after an Al-Nassr game. Local superiority is essential. Ouch. A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Why did Super League invite Arsenal?Because someone has to finish bottom of the group and be okay with it. A: Because they never have any points. Entering your story is easy to do. How does Arsenal do in Europe?They 10-2 get knocked out. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. Both cars (with football stickers on windows) are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. He always reacts like that when we lose a match. Career Day Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. He writes, "Spurs fan saves friend from vicious animal. Most recently, the derby was rescheduled due to Arsenal requesting a postponement. Tottenham 0-2 Arsenal: Aaron Ramsdale attacked by fan after north London derby 15 January 2023 Premier League Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale was led away from the area after an. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. More likely, the mental wounds inflicted by losing the league from 2-0 up away to Chelsea, raw and on display as they conceded twice and resorted to a stunning array of fouls, kicks and one infamous eye-gouge, simply could not be healed. Arsenal's crown in 2004. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" blame the incident on Mikel Arteta's actions, mad at some referee decisions during the draw, Tottenham Hotspur fan names seven Spurs players in his north London combined XI, "We go there" - Arsenal star makes bullish North London derby claim ahead of Tottenham clash, Arsenal Suffer A Disastrous First Half In North London Derby, Arsenal star Ben White taunts Tottenham fans after being substituted in the north London derby. On the way, she says, "Classical". ", Meanwhile one simply stated: "Quality from the Arsenal website.". Why dont they drink tea at White Hart Lane?Because all the cups are in Manchester. Q: What do you call 100 Tottenham Hotspur supporters at the bottom of a cliff? Johnny comes to the front of the class. ", Feeling the need to point out their trophies won, this fan messaged: "Last time I checked, 3 European Trophies, 2 League Titles, 8 FA Cups, 4 League Cups.". Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. A. A: I cry when I cut up onions ''Yes - but I couldn't get anyway near it for the Arsenal supporters! One day there was 3 girls one supported Leeds United and wore blue knickers, asks Lukas . To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. NuzzlesK 8 yr. ago See the top comment. For example [my story] would show as my story on the Web page containing your story.TIP: Since most people scan Web pages, include your best thoughts in your first paragraph. Explore the lighter side of being an Arsenal fan! A: A mosquito stops sucking. Career Day A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon. A: They can't string three "Ws" together. Or why not treat yourself? document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()). The third cat says "I support Arsenal, I'm not that hungry thanks", They aren't that highly rated and no one really knows much about them, but apparently they're a small club from North London. Your email address will not be published. "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan." When was the last time you won anything? It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. It only receives one station! The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. A Compilation of best jokes on Arsenalis given below. England and Wales company registration number 2008885. Be it the home match against Leicester City in the season 2015/16 or the away match in Europa League R16 at Zagreb in season 2020/21, Spurs find a way to cheer their rival fans.In the current season, Tottenhams last-minute failure against Sporting Lisbon extended Antonio Contes dreadful champions league record. A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points. A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. I think I will just wait for the police"Jokes About ArsenalThere was a Spurs fan, a Gunner fan and Megan Fox sitting together in a carriage on a train. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whiskey didn't break. The Arsenal supporter prays to God, When will Arsenal win the Premier League again? , to which God replies, In 20 years. The admirer, like the first, is visibly upset, saying, Thats a shame, Ill probably be dead by then.God then turns his attention to the last man, asking, And what of you, my son? What exactly is your question? Arsenal are no strangers when it comes to mocking local rivals Tottenham. Q: Did you hear that Tottenham Hotspur doesn't have a website? This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. Primary For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/, Tottenham were trolled by Arsenal for their lack of trophies on the Gunners' online store, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). There is, however, one exception. The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. What do Arsenal and Tottenham fans have in common? Click the button and find the first one on your computer. "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan." What should you do? To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. A pause, and a smile. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. and a mosquito? A burglar. Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Spurs fan? They slaughter the sheep and use their wool for warmth until they become hungry.The Hartlepool fan says, Im from Hartlepool so Ill have the heart. The Liverpool fan says, Im from Liverpool so Ill have the liver.At last, the Arsenal fan says, Urm Im not hungry.. I hope you have enjoyed reading all of these Arsenal jokes as much as I have :DPlease feel free to read more about Arsenal FC from the links below Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it? What do you tell your girlfriend who needs space?To check Arsenals trophy cabinet. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune.". Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. "Arsenal Story JokesTwo men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again. You tell it want kind of music you want to listen to, and it automatically changes. You can wrap a word in square brackets to make it appear bold. A: Because you can park in the handicap zone! Unleash your creativity & share you story! The primary is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. Thinking quickly, his friend rips a plank of wood from a fence, forces it into the dog's collar and twists it, breaking the dog's neck. They called the police and then, for decency, decided to cover her up. A: The accused. Q. A: They can't string three "Ws" together. The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. The picture looked completely different a couple of weeks ago with Mikel Arteta's side sitting above Spurs in the Premier League table ahead of the North London . An Arsenal fan has gone viral, after following in the footsteps of his fellow fan, by hiding in the home end during the north London derby. Johnny comes to the front of the class. I support Liverpool so I will eat it's Liver A: The bucket. Turn off the PlayStation. Santa: What do you want for Christmas?Arsenal fan: I want a dragon.Santa: Come on. He looked at the others and asked, "Who the hell is Martin Keown? A: Because they never have any points. cried Wenger, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!! Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and an Arsenal striker? A: A cheat. A: You paint Red Devils on his dick and he won't beat it for 4 years! SOL CAMPBELL has slammed Tottenham fans for the years of abuse aimed at him following his move to Arsenal.The Englishman made the move to Arsenal afte . Arsenal's crown. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); The Spurs fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Arsenal fan. She immediately turns the car around and heads back to the dealer. Get insight to top players, instructions & drills and extensive coverage of equipment. Q: What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet? (Gunner who? "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. What is Arsenal calling their gay team, added to promote equality?The official name will be Upthearsenal but fans are expected to call them by their nickname of The rear Gunners., What is Arsenals mascot Gunnersaurus saying?I survived extinction for this fucking shit., A man stopped another man in the street and said, Can you help me? by And he got very depressed. What do Arsenal FC & Oscar Pistorius both have in common?Getting used to losing both legs. He once saw Tyrone Mings at a petrol station in Bournemouth but felt far too short to ask for a photo. If you click the basket without any items having been added, a pop-up message on the site will show up. A: Ask a Tottenham Hotspur supporter! Why should Spurs have some talks with Theresa May?They got out of Europe within 2 months. A: A good start! The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. "That's excellent! Why cant Tottenham open up a restaurant?Because they have no silverware. Lukas Podolski walks into a sperm donor bank in London Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale has revealed the squad still have "scars" from the painful events of last season. Whatever the reason for Tottenham's collapse, it gave Arsenal fans a rare excuse to self-combust in laughter and waved them off for the summer by gifting them the most enjoyable moment of the 2015-16 campaign. About every ten years a small team wins the EPL.86 Forest95 Blackburn04 Arsenal16 Leicester. Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Q: What team comes beatween your legs and your back? There was plenty for Arsenal fans to cheer about on Sunday, as they increased their lead at the top of the Premier League table to eight points, with a win over local rivals Tottenham Hotspur. and they also made jokes . A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A: So Arsenal supporters can get laid too. Future Publishing Limited Quay House, The Ambury, The first is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. Speaking after the match, the keeper said, "The Spurs fans were giving me some [stick] throughout the second half. "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir." "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". Q: Whats the difference between Arsenal F.C. ?A Space Invader.Jokes About ArsenalHow long has Tony Adams played for Arsenal?Donkeys years.Arsenal Football Club JokesHow many Arsenal players does it take to change a light bulb?Eleven - one to change it and ten to play the offside trap.Jokes About ArsenalHeard the one about David Seaman?He never keeps a clean sheet.Arsenal FC JokesWhen Gazza scored at Wembley, Seaman was all over the place.Arsenal FC JokesWhat's the difference between Paul Merson and the rest of the Arsenal team?One takes dope and the rest are dopes.Jokes About ArsenalWhat have Paul Merson and a can of Coca Cola got in common?Their both red and white and full of coke.Jokes ArsenalWhy is the pitch at Highbury so green?Because they keep putting lots of shit on it.Arsenal jokesHow come Arsenal fans don't fall asleep during a match?The smell of their ground keeps them awake.Arsenal JokesWhat's the highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?Pro-plus (sleep repellant).Best Arsenal JokesWhat's the second highest selling item in the Arsenal souvenir shop?Horlicks.Best Jokes About ArsenalWhat is the difference between Paul Merson and a former Arsenal player, surname George?One Charlie shoots, the other shoots Charlie.Arsenal JokesWhat is the difference between Jon Pertwee and Ray Parlour?Ray Parlour still looks like Worzel Gummidge.Arsenal FC JokesAt Highbury, what is the difference between the words 'disciplinary' and 'football'?
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