It could seem like the best of both worlds. Even if a cheating partner feels like theres something missing in his marriage, he might be afraid to leave his wife because hes used to the way things are. Im not jealous, but Im not putting up with that shit either. Over half of all cheaters cited enhancing their self-esteem as a motivating factor. How to Survive Grief and Depression After Infidelity, How To Deal With A Cheater? Have heard that before too- that sex with the AP is usually over-rated. my AP was my first boyfriend, my first lover, I truly thought he was my soulmate, one true love for YEARS. I think its important at my stage to never assume they wont again and thats a chance I take everyday. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. I would be curious to see what Doug and Linda have to say about traits that make a person less likely to cheat. I walked out of his office and left the job later that day (wed had to continue working together whilst Id worked my notice but we didnt talk for 4 months and hed been away in a recovery place for 5 weeks of that). Narcissism: This person displays pathological selfishness, an extreme sense of entitlement, and he is always looking for new sources (people) to feed his ego. There is something broken for sure. Smart, but super shady. There is really no room for getting to know someone one-on-one. They will not own their actions. We discussed this with the MC and she agreed. This is a list of personality traits that might pre-dispose someone to an affair. Still, it is so unbelievable to me that women like the one you hired/fired actually exist. He had gone to rehab, found God, found a wonderful beautiful woman, had a successful business and yet through all the positive things that he had in his life and also realized what he had lost previously, he managed to find his way back to the gutter. His compliments boosted my ego and confidence, My comments: Red flag 1: you liked him as soon as you met him that screams narcissist- he is a narcissist. Grab Now! Why the hell not? There are many reasons, Dr. Edelman explains. If you do remain with the serial cheater, here are some points to think about. Somewhere in their history, whether its parents]. Of course shes a narcissist and shes trying to play you. In the past we were definitely labeled as peculiar, eccentric, strange, non-social, etc etc. The last time I addressed this with him a couple of days ago and talked about the pattern, he says that when she asks again, he will say to her You talk about how you want to get to know Sarah, you text her and email her asking for us to come to your house. I suspected all along but now I have an admission to back up what I already knew in my gut So she could see, how nice it was. So for a married man to carry on in front of the whole office would just disgust me. You are not that type of person, I could see that the first time you posted here. Just as you were taught not to judge a book by its cover, it's near impossible to look someone in the eye and, in just one glance, know they're a cheater. They are masters at seeming believable," Wish explained. In some cases . I never questioned why he moved to my area. Or maybe he never had an affair. After all, you are/were the reliable/dignified/intregrity-based woman in his life. Youre hurt and you arent going to heal overnight. Unfortunately he began to enjoy them after his father died and business was nearly failing. They might be cheating with more than one at a time, but they dont feel regret about it. Its the easiest ego stroke, and it can happen at the water cooler. He needs new nice people under his spell because he needs more narcissistic feed for himself. As for your older female colleague and her recommendations, she is right and it has always been my attitude, even prior to being married. An inability to concentrate, which affects your work. I have been writing for online publications for the last five years, using my background in Psychology to understand human nature. Many men and women go years without knowing that their partners or significant others have cheated until they see the affair firsthand. The thing that fuels serial cheaters is that they have no remorse. But, I can bet you money that if he would have left to be with her, just being with her would be a hell worse than anything Dante could have imagined. The Illness of Cheating: Why Do People Cheat in Relationships? Only a small percentage of affairs last for a long time. It may reflect future behavior. They show a lack of remorse and empathy. Id known my personal turd since I was 15 and he was 17. We hugged a lot (he hugged everyone so must always have smelled of perfume) (sign). I was working on my laptop and suddenly my sons male dentist was standing in front of me grinning. A cheating spouse may not truly care about his affair partner at all. Well, if said husband has a family, he may want to stay in order to protect the well-being of his children. Your perspective is an essential part in helping to understand the hows and whys and ultimately how to strengthen all of our marriages. My hope is that the affair was the catalyst for them to work on a marriage that clearly wasnt dead (as has happened with my h and I ). I felt so alone, I felt she had finally got her way, then I read others post, some of the blogs, and everything just made more sense. Thank You for getting the words right out of my mouth too! My husband meets everyone qualification as a cereal cheater, is it even possible for him to change? This really is a terrible story and I am so sorry you have had to go through it. Immediately after I saw my Turd for what he was, I had and still have , absolutely NO FEELINGS for him whatsoever. I cannot help him or otherwise solve his issues and I am now releasing him to a higher power. I think we both have learned from this, it was difficult, still is, but I am hoping he has learned more from what he almost lost because of the ea, so it never happens again. They do not want responsibility for their actions and their exes will mostly be discussed in a bad light. A meeting that led to kiss that led on eventually to two affairs probably wouldnt have happened if Id been married. PS- I guarantee he would have been whistling a different tune. Just a whole heap of mind games. Ok fair warning here. Honestly, talk about blinders being on. We always love hearing from you and appreciate your support! Congratulations on reaching your 23rd wedding anniversary!! Either you cant fall asleep, or you cant stay asleep. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Actions reflect the truth, words can be twisted to alter our reality. Her h not wanting her anywhere near my h. So for someone that was so smitten though with my h, and expressed to him that she had loved him her whole life, she certainly dropped him from her life for two decades, and she found it so easy to do so. I think serial cheaters are the same way, even when they arent doing anything they are just one step away from it. My ex-husband was cheating from day 1 as well. I talked with certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman, who specializes in women's issues and relationships, to learn what's going on in the mind of a serial cheater. If you are over him none of that stuff matters. If he didnt want to talk to the ow, he would turn his phone off. If both people want to repair the relationship, the first step is for the cheating partner to take full responsibility. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. She is NOT married to the guy. Is anyone else like that.? By the way, and earlier comment you made struck a chord with me and a light-bulb went on in my head. Answer (1 of 19): I was just 18 when first married. What hes learned is most time people have their own agendas and sometimes they are measuring him up on how big a dupe hes going to be. But for a serial cheater, this may not be in the case. One-time cheaters, if they're truly remorseful, will own up to their mistakes. Serial cheaters are exactly what their title . He became a pro. But even more, I would say evaluate your marriage and figure out if there are any areas where you can be proactive to ensure it doesnt happen again. Every cheater thinks they are the one who can have an affair with no repercussion or fallout or collateral damage. Think twice about giving a second chance when: Your partner had an affair with an ex-partner. Typical behaviors of a narcissist can include attention-grabbing behavior on social media. Wow, Eyes, I will just have to see I didnt see that one coming. The good news is, the place where he works has shifts and different employees are rotated through different shifts constantly. Do not give one single day to cousin It and her selfishness and meanness. It's even harder when you realize it may not be the first time your partner has cheated on you or on their former partners. She wants to see you squirm when shes around. 4. Stupid skank, she may have thought she got what she wanted when they were overseas together, and the poor little wife didnt have a clue, but she had reality slap her in the face, on his arrival home. We do it for many reasons, most of which are good. The only way to know for sure is to have an honest conversation. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. He would be out the door. You begin to distrust your own sense of reality. Im 1000miles away from any support, job, insurance, car, and my husband cant make me feel safe because of his fear of getting sued. "Now you're not sure when you're going to see or hear from your partner. Do you think during the affair started that the wife could have done things to stop it or did it need to run its course? Why Do Serial Cheaters Want to Stay Married? He is a serial adulterer, and you are not. So, I do not believe this is a way to make in roads with us as a couple. Well, there are a few reasons why affairs happen: 1. This leads to resentment and seeking affection elsewhere. I spent a year being told the problems in our marriage were due to me, so I tried to fix me. So, my husband is charming like that, but with everyone, even if they are 90-year-old men who are wheelchair bound. . Cousin It definitely has character flaws and why he would choose to hook his wagon up to that should make you want to look more closely at your husbands own flaws and weakness not the weakness in your marriage. Serial cheaters get and stay married because on some level they too want a companion to share their life with. A: honestly I ended up having an affair to escape the place I found myself in in my marriage. Ohhh really, well this man has just been separated from his wife and she starts having an affair with you, wtf, what do you expect this man to do and say to her, while his emotions are running high.
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