It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. 8. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. I believe you. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! They seem to make him quite happy. If you're a friend, it's friendly. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. But to be proud of them? That makes you a living miracle. This is a noble endeavor. It does not take it away from them. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). The Proud Boys ' anger toward Mr. Trump has heightened after he did nothing to help those in the group who face legal action for the Capitol violence. but you do play a role in their success! My boyfriends ex, posted a im so proud of you on a photo he posted: something he achieved. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. You haven't said who is speaking to whom. But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. 14. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. It makes a difference I think. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. I teach high school. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. 14. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). I did like here. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. You could also feel patronised. Great to hear this. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. In what context. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. Date TBA. This post was actually very helpful for me! Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. Thats my life goal. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". Anyone who overthinks any form of compliments or think's that there are hidden agendas or people are not being completely honest about what they say, should take a step back and ask themselves why they are thinking those thoughts, personally i believe it's more about them and not what is being said about the phrase. You must log in or register to reply here. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? 3. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. I dont think that without your support I can make it. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Better Responses 2023. She and I are both married. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. How might you feel as the worker? The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. The Proud Boys . I say it often to former students. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. Don't disguise it as concern, either. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. Look him in the eyes and smile. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 4. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. . We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. Thanks. The words hit me like a . She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Feb 10, . "I know someone in recovery". Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. Second, he must know you well. And Ill encourage them to be proud. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Patricia Velasquez. PJ. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. However, is this what happens? I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. 10. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. But what does proud mean? I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? "I wish I had met you. 1. Because this was someone elses idea. Well done!. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. Family Tree. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. Thank you all, too. No. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. I'm so proud of your painting!" Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. Youll feel mad and resentful. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. Try The Behaviour Window. Its obviously a powerful word. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? 5. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . 5. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Immune Response. The Psychology of Bragging. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. 11. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. 4. Required fields are marked *. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Your email address will not be published. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. But, why does the response "me too" sound natural in response to "I am glad to meet you". She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Can't you do something different?" With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. B Blue Apple Senior Member For me, this was a huge take-away moment. You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. Thank you for starting this. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Thank You. "Im proud of you!" I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. Talents Compliments. Future Planet. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. However what messages might our children actually hear? A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. 3. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. Which brings me to my next point. The rest were manual labourers. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). Pause before responding. She says "Good boy. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. Since first publishing this piece, I've spent many years thinking about, and discussing, why children might like to hear their parents say "I'm proud of you". I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. 3. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. "Be proud of your scars. . that he harrassed them or . The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. I have always struggled with this word. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. 5. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. Lets see where we can go with this. 2. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". The truth here is, different people say and hear different things in the expression Im proud of you.. Yeah, this means a lot to me. Be proud of who you are. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. 5. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. 7. Hosted by Pressable. We learn from every step we take. Fascinating post in two regards. Larissa is passionate about the skills taught in Effectiveness Training. And thats enough for me. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. . She says "Good boy. Youre like my sister from another mother. 2. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. The other three sound as if you're saying you're proud of yourself too. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. So, lets get started! But who are you to affirm? Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. But is that really very useful? Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. Best of BBC Future. Instead of acting out of rage over . Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? . Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. You shouldnt be. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. 8. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Happy I did it, finally! Your email address will not be published. No, I am more proud of you, too. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . Second, he must know you well. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. It remains condescending and arrogant. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. Thank you so much! . They mean the exact opposite of what you think. 12. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. I wasnt happy with this performance. I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. I feel virtually murderous towards them. by Carolyn Steber. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. But this will be seen as an overreaction. She reciprocated. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job!