I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! All rights reserved. q("f", arguments) there's no such thing as rights. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. Then you live in an old age home. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Hes not a cheese. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Authors. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. Are these people kidding? Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Religion class was always an easy class. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. [CDATA[ You know why? The challenge is to find it. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. Everybodys going to save something now. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. I love individuals. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. var url; In America, anyone can become president. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. What do you say? The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Its so f***ing heroic. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. return cookiePair[1]; On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. Did you enjoy this article? function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { #government. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; } Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Tax them. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. It always has been. Weve added years to life, not life to years. } All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? [CDATA[ We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Who the fuck is going to invade the US? var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" > Quotable Quote. }); } Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. It creates a hostile work environment. Laugh often, long and loud. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin 13. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. This is the best we can do folks. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Theres a humorous side to every situation. They own, and control the corporations. "Forget the politicians. //]]> return null; Now you can finally see what made George Carlin the dad tick. I hate groups of people. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. So arrogant. They should be more vivid. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Continue with Recommended Cookies. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Nobody seems to care. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. }, In America, anyone can become president. Thats the problem. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Its because volunteers work for no pay. That is against their interests. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. Really? That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Government is an important institution. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. I have certain rules I live by. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. 4. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. We havent tried that for a while. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); And fight songs. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. When you die, it all stays here. for(var i=0; i